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  "That's alright. I have time to explain."

  It was one of those ‘by the seat of her pants’ plans, but when she’d finished explaining it to the woman, she actually seemed like she was considering it. It was important to remember that not everyone in a given culture was terrible. If they could get inside help from one of the Camadors, then they would have a huge advantage.

  Maybe that would be enough that Sorrin would be able to forgive her for her dishonesty, even if she hadn’t actively been working against him. She could only hope.

  “If I do this,” the woman, whose name was Kaleth, said. “I will never be able to go back to my people.”

  “Better than dying with the majority of them,” Abby pointed out, using Kaleth’s logic against her. “You’ll be able to stay here on Earth when it’s over, though. You’ll be safe.”

  “Can you promise that?”

  Abby shrugged a shoulder. “Probably not. But you’d be on our side.”

  It was a large step in the right direction, one that would probably make it easier for them to stand more of a chance against the Camadors. But it made one thing very clear.

  She was going to have to tell Sorrin the truth. About everything. Just thinking about it made her want to hide under a blanket because he was going to be livid. But he was about to risk his life for this, and she had to let him know before that happened. Hopefully there would be something left to salvage at the end of this.

  Chapter Eleven: Shatter

  Sorrin was unused to feeling so divided.

  For the last four years he'd had a concrete plan. He'd known what needed to be done and how he was going to do it. Well. To a certain extent.

  The point was, nothing had been ambiguous. There was no point where he'd looked up and realized he wasn't sure how the rest of his life was going to go. Granted, that was mostly because he'd been sure the rest of his life wasn't going to be very long, so it didn't really matter, but still. It wasn't a problem he'd been overly concerned with.

  Now, though. Now things were different.

  Now he had a human woman who he was feeling more and more possessive over. Not in a controlling way, but in a way that made him want to keep her safe. He wanted her far from this conflict. Sorrin wanted to put her on that ship and send her back to the planet he'd come from, or to Gollen Par to be protected by Halphia. Anything that kept her from being used like cannon fodder down here.

  Because there was no doubt in Sorrin's mind that this was going to be a fight. The Camadors would not give up their domination of this planet easily, and Sorrin was willing to bet that he'd have to kill a fair number of them in order to make sure that they got the message that they weren't welcome. Maybe even all of them.

  The idea of it made him happier than he wanted to admit, and he sighed, rubbing at his face. Life had become more confusing than he liked, of late.

  The one bright spot was Abby. Another two weeks had passed since they'd first kissed, first touched, first been intimate. And then intimate again and again, and it never lost its spark for him. Things were chaotic and sometimes Sorrin wasn't sure where they stood, but holding her in his arms at night was an amazing feeling.

  Sorrin had meant what he said when he'd mentioned that they would be a liability for each other, but he couldn't seem to bring himself to care. How long had it been since he'd had something worth holding on to? Worth protecting?

  If it meant that he would have to fight harder to keep her safe, he was willing to do that. He would let her help him up to a certain point and then send her away so she wouldn't have to participate in or witness the fighting.

  Something about the way she'd stopped him from killing the Camador woman in that warehouse stuck with him, and he wondered what she'd think of him if she knew how many people he'd killed in his time. Or how many Camadors he planned to kill before this was all said and done. It was a kill or be killed situation. Us versus them.

  He fully intended to be on the winning side this time.

  A week ago, he had put in a call to Halphia.

  If she'd seemed surprised to hear from him, then she hadn't shown it. She was all smooth professionalism, straight backed, her hair cascading over her shoulders. Sorrin could just picture her in her office looking calm and put together no matter what she was feeling inside.

  Luckily, he knew her well enough to know that most of that was just an act. She was very good at seeming unruffled, even if she was completely taken by surprise. So her cool "It's good to hear from you, Sorrin" hadn't fooled him for a second.

  "It's good to see you, Halphia," he'd said in return and then favored her with a smile.

  The smile had thrown her, and he understood why. In the days before the Camadors, Sorrin had been one of the more easygoing warriors in Senator Halphia's detail. He took his job seriously and never wanted to convey otherwise, but when he was off duty, he was often found flirting or playing dice or card games, goofing off and being silly. He flirted and teased, smiled and charmed, and he'd been very good at it.

  That was a part of him that hadn't been seen in a long time, and so he understood why Halphia squinted at him over the comm link, looking to see what had caused this change in demeanor.

  Sorrin gave nothing away.

  Instead, he detailed a plan to her. "The Camadors have never stopped being a threat," he'd said. "They hid after what they did to our city, but they were plotting. I think they have some new powers and they have a new plan. With Earth as a base of operations, and with the humans as their pawns, they could become much harder to stop."

  Halphia had sighed. "They're already hard to stop. I don't think any of us can handle it if it gets harder."

  "Agreed. Which is why we need to stop them now."

  "'We' is it?" Halphia asked, arching a perfect eyebrow. "I was under the impression that you worked alone these days."

  Sorrin fidgeted under her gaze. They weren't even in the same solar system at the moment, but he still felt like she could see through him. Something he always managed to forget with her was that for as well as he knew Halphia, she knew him just the same.

  "I do. I did," Sorrin conceded. "I have...discovered that this is bigger than I am. There's more at stake now."

  And there was that perceptive look again. She narrowed her eyes like she was reading his mind, leaning forward so she was closer to the screen on her side, to get a better view. After a long moment, in which Sorrin tried not to feel like a child who was about to get caught doing something he shouldn't have been.

  There were no rules against being with humans, not in the Independent Colonies or on any of the other more modern and progressive planets. And even if there were, Sorrin was a free agent at the moment, owing allegiance to no one.

  But he knew Halphia would have an opinion, and strangely, he was afraid to find out what it was.

  "You have changed," was all she said, though, and she leaned back in her chair, steepling her fingers together. "You need my help."

  It wasn't a question.

  "Yes," Sorrin replied, because there was really no getting around that part. He had no back up and no forces of his own, and since he'd resigned from Halphia's service, she was under no obligations to send the others to help him. He didn't doubt that she would send them, but she was clearly going to make him sweat a bit first. He supposed that was only fair.

  "When last we spoke, you seemed determined that you didn't need anyone's help. That you intended to make this your last stand. You were going to go out fighting the Camadors, I thought. What has changed?"

  Sorrin had wanted to roll his eyes at her heavy handed line of questioning, but instead he'd kept his face open and sincere. She'd know about the eye roll whether he did it or not, and it was best not to tick Halphia off while he was asking for her help.

  "Many things," Sorrin admitted. "I didn't know what the Camadors' plan for Earth was before. If they get it, then my efforts will be for nothing. I don't want that."

  "And what else?"

 
"And I don't want the humans to be killed or used. That is what will happen if the Camadors have their way."

  "The humans." Halphia tapped her full mouth, a smile playing in the corners. "I see. I didn't think you cared about what happened to them."

  "They don't deserve the same fate our people suffered," Sorrin replied in the common language of the colonies. It was a bit of a low trick, but it did what it was meant to.

  Halphia's face softened, and she inclined her head graciously. "No," she agreed. "They do not. No one does. Very well, Sorrin. Tell me what you would have of me."

  It was quick work to explain the plan, the way he was going to use the humans and Halphia's warriors to defeat the Camadors without them suspecting a thing. Halphia had told him that she was sure some of the other Senators would be willing to lend some of their warriors to the cause as well, and to expect them within the next half cycle.

  That had been a week ago, and the time for the reinforcements to arrive was drawing closer. Abby had told him who among the humans he needed to speak with to get their cooperation, and he had spent one very stressful day going to the high ranking humans in the city and telling them his plan.

  Abby hadn’t gone with him, and it had taken the human leaders some time to trust him, but when he spoke of his vengeance and the Camadors’ plan for Earth, it had been enough to get them to act. All the firepower they could come up with would be his to lead if he managed to keep the people safe.

  Sorrin promised he would try.

  When they weren’t strategizing and trying to fill any holes in their plan, they were together. Sorrin had discovered that there were few things better than wrapping himself around Abby at night and holding her close to him. She smelled lovely, and the warmth of her skin did wonders to soothe him when he was agitated. The beat of her heart calmed him when he woke from bad dreams, the images of his friends and family lying broken and bleeding haunting him until he snapped awake. Then she would let him lay his head on her chest and stroke his hair, murmuring soft words of comfort to him until he fell asleep once more.

  There were times, though, when he would catch her looking uneasy and almost unhappy, staring off into the distance with a frown marring her lovely face. There was something bothering her, that much was clear, but he didn’t know what it was or how to broach the topic with her. Finally, a few days after he’d spoken to Halphia, he stepped in to speak.

  “Abby,” he said firmly. “I want to talk to you.”

  For a moment, alarm flared in her eyes, and she swallowed hard, but when Sorrin offered her his hand, she took it and seemed to calm down. Sorrin supposed that ominously declaring the desire to talk was anxiety inducing in any culture. “It’s not bad,” he promised her, as he led them both to Abby’s couch.

  It was a nice couch, and Sorrin had spent many a sleepless night sitting on it before he’d found something better to do with that time. He sat on it now, and pulled Abby into his lap.

  "Something is bothering you," he said, cutting right to the point of things. He didn't see the point in pretending like he didn't have something he wanted to say to her. Dancing around the pit, they called it where he was from, wasting time when you really needed to just jump in.

  Abby sighed and tucked her head under his chin. "What do you mean?"

  "I mean that you've been looking like someone has died for days now. There's something wrong. Is it... Have you spoken to your family?"

  "What?" She seemed surprised by that question.

  "Your family," Sorrin repeated. "You have one still living, don't you? Do they know you're alright?"

  Abby was quiet for a long moment and then she shook her head. "No. No, they don't. I never called them."

  "Why not?"

  "Because. Because... I don't know. A lot of reasons. I might not survive this, you know? And if I don't, it's better for them to think I was always dead than for me to tell them I'm alive and then end up dying anyway. I don't think they could handle that. And they've probably already done their mourning, and I don't want to make them think they won't have to do it again."

  Sorrin nodded slowly, understanding. Her logic made sense, but he took exception to it. "I see what you mean," he said softly. "But consider this. I never got to see my family again before the attack on the city. I had meant to go have dinner with them, but instead I was busy doing other things. I never made time for it, and they died, and I feel that weighing on me all the time. I wish, more than anything, that I could have said more to them before they died, before everything went wrong. Your family probably feels much the same. If you speak to them now, you can tell them what you're doing, tell them there is a chance they may not see you again. And then at least they will have closure. Does that make sense?"

  For a long moment, Abby didn't say anything, and Sorrin was concerned that maybe he had overstepped his bounds. It wasn't after all, any of his business what she did with her family, or how she chose to handle herself and her personal relationships. But he didn't like to see her look so upset and worried.

  Finally she sighed and nodded. "Yeah. It makes sense. I just... I'll have to think about it. I don't want to cause them or anyone else more pain."

  "You are a good person," Sorrin said, dropping a kiss to the top of her head.

  "No, I'm not," she replied. "I'm really not."

  Now it was Sorrin's turn to frown. The defeat in her voice was a surprise to him, and he didn't know where it was coming from. "Abby, you're trying to help save your planet and your people, you're trying to spare your family some heartache. I don't know why you would think that makes you anything less than a good person."

  Abby didn't say anything at first, and then she slipped out of his lap, getting to her feet. She paced a ways away from him and then moved closer, wringing her hands together and worrying at her bottom lip with her teeth. "Sorrin?" she said. "There's something else."

  He raised his eyebrows, head tilted to one side. "Something else like what?"

  "There's..." She seemed at a loss for words, and it looked like she was about to cry, which was more than a little alarming. The last thing he wanted to see was her in distress, and he reached for her, frowning harder when she stepped back and away from his hand. "There's something I have to tell you, Sorrin. And I just. I can only hope you won't hate me too much when I say it."

  "What is it?" Sorrin asked. Did she have a boyfriend somewhere? Had she been lying about wanting him? Was she just using him as hired muscle, so to speak? So many conflicting ideas about what could be happening here went through his head, along with the reminder that this was the reason he had stayed away from relationships and entanglements since the death of his friends and family. Because people were hard and complicated, and he hadn't had the energy for it.

  "I...I haven't been honest with you."

  Sorrin's heart sank. "About what?"

  "About. Well, about a few things. I...when we met, there was..." Her lips were trembling, and her hands were shaking, and Sorrin knew this wasn't going to be anything good.

  "What is it?" he asked again.

  "When we met, I was in that cell for a reason. I was in that cell because you were in that cell."

  "I don't understand."

  Her hands clenched into fists at her sides, and she drew in a deep breath. “I was put in that cell because you were in that cell. The reason it was so easy for us to escape was because they wanted us to escape. They just. Wanted me to escape with you. That was part of their plan.”

  “That doesn’t make any sense,” Sorrin said, eyebrows drawn down. He’d thought there was something odd about them being able to get in and out so easily, but he hadn’t assumed that it was something that they had planned. And how did… “How do you know what their plans are?” he asked Abby.

  “I didn’t want to do it,” she said, wrapping her arms around herself. “I didn’t have a choice. The...the Caran knew that people were coming. They knew that the others out there wouldn’t let them take Earth, and she...she wanted to make
sure it wouldn’t interfere with their plans. So she planted spies.”

  And now it was all becoming clear. “Spies,” Sorrin said, voice flat.

  “Yes. But I didn’t want to! She said if I didn’t do it, then she would kill everyone. Me, my family, my people. And I didn’t have a choice, and I didn’t even know you when I agreed to do it! I didn’t know what would happen…”

  “Your family. Your family that you care about so much they don’t even know you’re alive?”

  Abby leaned back like he’d hit her. “That doesn’t mean I wanted them to die. I was doing it to keep people safe.”

  “You were doing it because you’re a coward,” Sorrin spat. It was harsh, but he felt betrayed. “And the rest of it? Did you...were you only close to me because of this?”

  “No!” Abby said quickly, taking a step forward. “Sorrin, no. I swear to god that wasn’t what this was. I got close to you because I wanted to. Because I wanted...I wanted you. It didn’t have anything to do with the Camadors.”

  “How can I believe that? Everything you’ve said to me so far has been a lie.”

  “That’s not true!”

  “It may as well have been!” Sorrin shouted back. “You know how I feel about them, and you were working for them the entire time. I told you...I told you all of it. And you were working for them. How did it work, exactly?” he wanted to know. “Were you feeding them information? Everything I told you, everything we planned?” His eyes widened as he realized the greater implications of this. “Are we going to be walking into a trap?”

  Abby shook her head fervently and quickly explained to him how the plan had changed. Apparently, she’d been talking to the Camador woman whose life he had spared. Now he understood why she hadn’t wanted him to kill her. As much as he wanted to believe that she hadn’t kissed him, hadn’t slept with him because they were her instructions, his hurt and outrage over being lied to and used were clouding his judgement and making it hard for him to see this as anything other than a betrayal.

  He’d trusted her. He’d let Abby in. He’d let her change him for what he thought was the better, and he’d done all of this, adjusted his mission, accepted help from humans, just to keep her safe. Just so that in the end, she would be alright and he might be alive to be able to be with her.